Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Ten Things SeaWorld Is Doing To Fix Its Reputation


10. Every other Friday now guaranteed to be cruelty-free.

9. Dolphin now officially removed from the buffet menu.

8. Guests no longer permitted to ride the orcas.

7. Orcas and dolphins now permitted to Skype their family members.

6. Will join forces with other socially responsible companies like Wal-Mart.

5. “If you see a trainer get brutally killed by a orca, your meal is free!”

4. Will now force animals to do less demeaning tricks for food.

3. Will stop selling animal carcasses to Long John Silver's

2. Will now actually do all that “conservation” mumbo-jumbo they've been lying about all these years.

1. Is enlisting trusted spokesman Bill Cosby to talk about the wonders of Sea World.