Rejected Cereals: Law & Order SVU

Rejected Cereals: Mr. Hankey

Rejected Cereals: Road House

Rejected Cereals: The Silence of the Lambs

Rejected Cereals: Subway Cereal

Cereal Murder: Nerds Cereal

Cereal Murder: Fake Cereal

Cereal Murder: Morning Funnies

 

In the early 1990's, Ralston attempted to sell a cereal that didn't have a toy inside it and featured characters whose fans were in the Geritol generation. The idea behind Morning Funnies was that kids could read the comics which covered the back of the box and an inner pullout tab. What kid wouldn't want to read about long forgotten characters instead of getting a good toy? Many, it seemed.

The biggest issue with the cereal was that it would only take half a breakfast to read the lousy comics printed on the box. Plus, if the exclusive comics were all that interested the kids, they could easily read them without buying the cereal. The cereal only lasted for five "collector's editions" before being put out of its misery.

Cereal Murder: Donkey Kong Cereal

 

The history of licensed cereals goes back to 1969 when Post decided to rebrand its failed Post Rice Krinkles as "Fruity Pebbles" based on the Flintstones. Some at Post thought that the popularity of the cereal would eventually flame out, but it never did. The cereal still features the Flintstones and still sells extremely well- despite the fact that most of its current customers probably only know the Flintstones from the cereal itself.

 

The overwhelming success of the cereal inspired others to try their luck at the licensed cereal biz. One company that decided to try its luck at licensed cereal production was Ralston, best known as the Ralston in dog food conglomerate Ralston Purina. The company produced similar tasting cereals that it would sell under different brand names and with different licensed characters. Today's such cereal is Donkey Kong.

 

Based on the Nintendo arcade game of the same name, Donkey Kong's box graphic features a knock-off Mario using a mallet to crush the barrel shaped cereal. The maple flavored barrels were much like any of Ralston's other cereals of the time; just shaped differently. The cereal would be killed off rather quickly.